Saturday, April 14, 2012
; Saturday, April 14, 2012
I woke up from a nap crying, and I don't know why.
I remember I was thinking something along the lines of oh, today feels like Friday. But shit it's Saturday. Sunday is tomorrow and school is starting. And then I felt frightened. Scared. Worried. I know time is gonna fly by again. As it always does.
I thought of the converstion I had with Les, Sam & Alison this morning, and suddenly it just dawned upon me (in my sleep) that we are really studying what our course really is now. The modules are all specialised modules for Tourism and Resort Management.
And I guess I am afraid of whatever the future holds. All of a sudden, growing up feels so scary. This sem is gonna pass, with the immersion trip coming up, then 16 weeks will be over. Holidays, then the second semester. And it would be Year 3, which would be internship for SIX months.
Wow. I feel so lost. After graduating, what's gonna happen? I haven't looked at the scholarship opportunities available. I don't know if I can get into any local univerisities. There's also the possibility of studying overseas, but there's gonna be lots of money involved. All these seem so overwhelming but I should have had considered them when Year 1 started. But I didn't. I hope it's not too late for it now.
Turning 18 in less than a month. Where do I see myself in 10 years' time's? I don't want to be forcing myself to go to work everyday and drag myself around. I want to be able to do something that I enjoy. And something that has a stable income so we can start a family. Is that even possible? Maybe I'm thinking too far. But it is something that has to be considered.
This post is getting too much. I just needed to write these down and feel better.
